Too Much Pride: Learning to Accept Help
Over the weekend during a lively discussion, a sweet-soul of a gentleman said to a mutual friend, "Allow me to help you." Our friend quickly rebuffed the suggestion he would ever allow others to assist him in anyway. Funny thing is, this self-reliant friend would be the first to insist his assistance to anyone in need. He just couldn't receive it, and claimed his upbringing was the cause-- too much pride. I'm sure you are familiar with this point of view, we all have known people too prideful to accept assistance, even if it comes from a trusted ally, while they are in desperate need. This could even be you.
I admit, I have been guilty of this as well. I understand the desire to manage difficulties yourself, to keep your problems your own. However, we must consider what is at stake.Will accepting help only affect you? You may be self reliant, but do others rely on you? You would be surprised who is watching and learning from the steps you take. Therefore, please consider each step you take, and don't take, wisely. Yes, it is good to manage your responsibilities yourself, and it is equally important to know you are not alone. Those who love you are there to help, and professional help is available too; something to consider when confidentiality concerns prevent you from getting the help you need.
I accepted help from professionals and loved ones years ago while struggling with alcoholism. I was accustomed managing life on my own, and was proud of my ability to live on my own terms. But after years of fun-loving clubs and parties, my drinking became problematic. My life was sinking into depression, and without a shift in my willingness to accept help, my daily life would have spiraled out of control. I needed help for myself first, yes this is true, but I also needed to accept help because I was connected to others. You see, we all inspire each other. We serve as examples to each other; someone is watching you too. We can demonstrate not only our ability to succeed, but that accepting help during difficult times is no cause for shame, but a needed element of survival for all of us.
Since my sobriety began in 2011, I have had repeated conversations by those who were watching me then, telling me how witnessing my experience showed them, seeking help was something they needed too. Since I accepted the help of a therapist, an outpatient program, emotional support from friends, family, and my little dog Ashee, my life experiences reflect my dreams. Also, my physical and mental health is greatly improved. I've seen others benefit from help in ways that changed their lives more than they dared to hope. They now have light for others to follow, not a shadow of shame to deny. So I hope you will accept help if you ever need it, from friend or professional; whether mental, emotional, physical or financial. Your choice could inspire those watching you to seek help too.
aa.org ; alliancehealthproject.ucsf.edu ; ASPCA.org ; golden1.com ; ohlhoff.org
Your post hit close to home for me. A few years ago I was determined to finish a major project at work on my own because I thought asking for help would make me look incompetent. I spent nights glued to my laptop, missing family dinners and ignoring the fact that my teammates kept offering assistance. The stress built up until I finally broke down and confessed that I was overwhelmed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_Gaming_and_Betting_Association To my surprise, they rallied around me, shared resources, and even took on parts of the workload. The result was a far better product delivered on time, and I learned that pride can be a blind spot. Since then I’ve made a habit of checking in with colleagues…
Reading this hit close to home because I spent years stubbornly refusing help at work, convinced I could handle every project on my own. The turning point came when I was juggling three deadlines and my health started slipping. I finally admitted I needed a hand, and a colleague offered to take on part of the workload. The relief was immediate—not just in the tasks completed, but in the sense that I wasn’t alone https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microgaming It forced me to confront the pride that had been masquerading as independence. Since then I’ve made it a habit to ask for input early, and the quality of my work has actually improved. I still feel a twinge of embarrassment when I ask for…
Reading this really hit home for me. A few years ago I was stubbornly managing a massive home renovation on my own because I didn’t want to “burden” anyone with my vision. I spent weeks juggling demolition, plumbing, and painting, only to realize I was exhausted and the work was slipping. My sister finally stepped in, offering to help with the electrical wiring—a task I had been terrified to delegate https://www.acma.gov.au/betstop-national-self-exclusion-registertm At first I resisted, feeling my pride was being bruised, but once I let her take the reins, the project suddenly moved forward smoothly. The house looks better than I ever imagined, and I learned that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness but a way to honor the…